


Remember

by pjms_thighs



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Hanbrough, Other, i don't know her, i don't know how to tag here, this is the first time i've written something in forever, what is life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24364855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pjms_thighs/pseuds/pjms_thighs
Summary: Mike Hanlon has a bad day so he decides to make a call.--My lame attempt at fanfiction ft. my even lamer attempt at a summary. Just read and find out if you want.(TW for suicidal thoughts if that affects you)
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon (Implied)
Kudos: 9





	Remember

Mike Hanlon had a bad day. This wasn’t unusual but the fact of the matter was that he normally had good days. Apparently, today, that wasn’t the case. Sometimes, Mike would see something or someone that reminded him of the people he once (still) called family. They were people who he’d thought would always be around, who would never leave him and always be by his side. And then, they all moved away and forgot about him and everything they went through while he stayed and remembered all of it. It was an awful, heart-sinking, empty feeling inside of him. Like someone had carved a huge hole straight through his chest. He sort of resented them for it even though it wasn’t their fault and he knew that. He couldn’t help it; he started crying. What started as a few drops turned out to be thick, hot tears streaming down his cheeks, so much that his vision started blurring and he struggled to even breathe.

When Mike was younger, a lot younger, he would sneak through the house without making so much as a peep and call them on his phone. The problem was that for the last 25 years, that was not possible as they had all moved on and forgotten. About him, about Derry and Pennywise; everything. It wasn’t likely that they were just going to remember the past 25 (ish, give or take a few) years over one phone call. But he had to try. Before he did something stupid.

He slowly walked over to the phone on the table, his every step pulling him down as though weights were strapped to his ankles. He looked down at the device, finally having made it to the table. It was funny really; such a small and harmless piece of junk but it seemed to hold his entire sanity in that one moment. He wondered who to call. He could call Richie if he wanted to laugh. He could probably call Eddie if he wanted a quick speech on all the meds he should take to avoid dying from some weird, rare, impossible-to-pronounce disease. He could call Beverly or Ben or Stan but they were pretty busy these days from what Mike saw on the papers. His eyes wandered around the room and at last, landed on a small piece of paper. It was a photo. Well, it was a strip of photos actually but it was the last one that really caught his attention. And then it came to him; he needed a reminder. Even though Mike was the one that stayed behind in Derry and remembered everything from the summer of ‘89 to now, he was beginning to forget why he did that in the first place. It came to him as he saw the small coloured square taped to the mirror on the side of his room. Bill. He needed to call Bill. This was risky, as Mike happened to hold Big Bill’s opinion higher than almost everyone else. He always had. It would break his heart more than he could explain if this didn’t work.

He picked up the phone and painstakingly dial the numbers scorched into his memory. The phone started ringing. Mike held his breath and counted the seconds. He was starting to lose all hope that Bill would even pick up until he finally heard that static voice over the line.

“Hello?”

“Bill?” Mike spoke hesitantly, willing his still-pouring tears away.

“Who is this?” Bill responded confused. Mike didn’t blame him.

“It’s Mike. Hanlon. From Derry,” Mike responded somehow keeping his voice from cracking. There was silence on the line for a few seconds. And then- “I’m sorry. I don’t remember.”  
Mike didn’t really know what he expected. Sudden recognition was what he had hoped for deep down but he knew, realistically, that it wasn’t going to happen. This just proved it. He couldn’t keep his voice from breaking this time.

“That’s okay.”

“Uhh. Why did you call me?” Bill asked slightly weirded out. Mike supposed if a random stranger had just picked up the phone and called him in the dead of night, he’d be a little wary too. 

“I. Um. I-I just really needed someone to talk to. And don’t worry, It’s not back. At least not yet. Uh I-,” Mike stuttered through his explanation but was cut off in the middle.

“Hey, man. I don’t really know what you’re going through. And I hope you feel better, I really do. But I got a book to write and I have a deadline so I don’t really have the time to, uh, talk. So…” Bill trailed off. Mike took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

“Right, yeah. Sorry. I’m so sorry I just-” he sighed. “Sorry. I-I’ll um. I’ll go n-” Mike heard the cut of the line before he even finished speaking. He was kind of shocked still for a moment. He knew. He knew and understood that Bill wouldn’t remember him; none of the others ever did and even on those rare occasions when they kind of had a hint, it never lasted longer than about a minute, maybe two. It still hurt though. Then again, he shouldn’t be surprised. He was about to get himself cleaned up and call it a night when suddenly, the phone rang. A surge of hope rushed through him and he leaped at the phone.

“Hello?” he asked with a shaky voice. The line was again silent for a few seconds before- “Mike?” Bill’s strangely familiar yet unfamiliar voice whispered through the phone.

“Billy?” Mike spoke, tears threatening to start their fall once more. He couldn’t believe this was true. 

“Mike.” Bill spoke again. It sounded like he was crying too.

“Billy. Do you uh- do you remember me?” Mike asked, scared of the answer.

“Yeah. Yeah Mike I remember you,” Bill said sounding weirdly relieved. Mike felt like a weight was lifted off his chest. He was a little speechless. It was a curious thing; he spent so long dreaming of the day he would see him and the others again and now he has a chance to talk to him, he doesn’t know what to say.

“It’s not back, is it?” Bill suddenly asked, sounding fearful.

“No. No It’s not back. Not yet,” Mike responded, repeating his earlier statement.

“Good, good.” And then- “Are you okay, Mikey?”

“Not really, Big Bill,” Mike responded, the last syllable turning into a sob.

“Mike. Mikey listen to me.” Bill’s voice suddenly sounded very urgent. Like he had to get whatever he had to say out as fast as he possibly could.

“I remember you now but I’m going to forget you again,” he started. _I know you are Billy, you always do._ “The swear all of us Losers made together that day wasn’t the only one. I know we promised we’d never leave each other. And I know I broke that promise and so did the others and I know that I’m going to do it again in a second and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Mikey,” Bill was barely able to get a word through at this point but funnily enough, it wasn’t because of his stutter. Huh. 

“I know. It’s okay Billy, it’s okay,” Mike was saying before Bill cut him off again. “No, Mikey, it’s not okay. But I just need you to remember. Remember that this isn’t forever; me and the others, we are going to come home and when we do, we are going to remember you and I s-s-swear to you that I won’t leave again,” Mike was hanging off of Bill’s every word. He wanted to keep it in his memory for as long as possible. Bill was still talking.

“I’m going to remember you and I won’t forget again I promise and-and,” Bill stopped talking. The line went silent for a good thirty seconds.

“Bill?” Mike asked timidly. Bill’s next words shattered Mike’s poor heart all over again. 

“I’m sorry. Who is this?” 

“Oh.” Mike croaked out impossibly quiet, choking on his tears. He put the phone back on the hook and sunk to the floor. Those words brought Mike crashing back down to earth again. He couldn’t believe he let himself hope that it would last. After all, it never did. Mike’s hitching sobs and cries echoed through his hollow excuse for a home. There was a short, panicky moment when Mike briefly considered doing the stupidest thing to date and offing himself then and there. At least, until he realised what an idiotic thing that would be to do. Ending his life might mean relief at last but it would also mean that the last 25 years of solitude and suffering would’ve all been for nothing. Not only that but it would also mean that when It came back, and Mike knew it would without a doubt, Mike wouldn’t be there to make the call and this would cause the happening of so many more Georgies and Betty Ripsoms and Ed Corcorans. And even, God forbid, more Mike Hanlons.

Mike couldn’t do that. He remembered Bill’s earlier words, before he forgot again. Bill told Mike to remember that this was not forever. The empty halls, the lonely nights filled with nightmares and silent screams. It would all come to an end. And besides, there was only 2 years to go before the cycle would begin again. Mike hated himself for even slightly looking forward to something like that, knowing what it would mean. But he also knew that it would mean that he would see the people he has longed for for nearly three decades. These are the only people who ever understood him, who ever really accepted him for who he was with all of his flaws and imperfections. They made themselves a special home inside his heart where he wouldn’t ever let them go. There were days when, like today, his entire sanity depended on them and the seemingly endless days they used to spend together. And the promises that they made. 

Mike remembered those promises. And he remembered that he had a purpose. He had a reason to keep going. He almost forgot that and thanks to Bill, he would make sure he never lost sight of that again. Mike was going to carry on with his duty until the time came for him to leave his post. Because It would come back and so would they. They just had to. When they came, when _It_ came, Mike would be ready.

-

**Author's Note:**

> Well there it is! This may be super shit, I know. I just had this idea at 2 AM and couldn't sleep until I wrote it down and decided it was a great idea to post it here. I hope you enjoyed no matter how horrible I think it is. Please feel free to leave a review and a comment. Or any sort of feedback. It would be greatly appreciated, thank you.


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